I. hate. those. words.
It doesn’t really mean “we” need to talk, but “I” need to tell you that’s going to crush you into a million pieces and leave you emotionally frustrated. There’s no way someone won’t come out of that conversation without feeling more than a little stomped on. Plus, it doesn’t help that the meaning varies depending on gender and the situation.
Teenage guy =you are clingy and getting on my nerves
Teenage girl = you aren’t doing what I want / it’s time to upgrade to a better version
Single Adult Male = I’m not looking for a committed relationship, plus you’re clingy and getting on my nerves
Single Adult Female = Why won’t you commit / marry me? Why won’t you do what I want?
Married Male = Stop telling me what to do! Give me some freedom (from you)! You’re driving me crazy!
Married Female =Why won’t you listen? Why don’t you help? What won’t you do what I want?
From my experience (and I’m making a gender judgement call here), it’s ultimately much worse when guys get to the point where “we need to talk”. They just seem to be more laid back than the most low-maintenance gal. The inordinate amount of what they can take until they blow the whistle and call a time out shows their ability to manage relationship stress. Feel free to elaborate guys.
Now I’m not bashing my own gender, but in my experience females are much more expressive. They aren’t to the point and tend to tangent on rabbit trails that have no end. Plus one topic will often lead to another, because in their mind it’s all connected. For me, just to consider those four weighty words requires planning and list-making, so that I don’t get all “female” during the conversation. It’s enough to avoid the whole thing.
Which reminds me, “Oh honey….”