These few weeks I have before I begin will be a test of my resilience. I’ve never had much problem in being determined to improve my mind–school was really never an issue. Ah, but now I have plenty of time to mull over the other parts of me that I’ve neglected in all that in-between time. 20/20 vision is a beast and forgiving oneself is not simple. That’s 20 something years of baggage to overcome.
This, of course, is why I plan to begin with what is most important to me. If this is going to stick, if just one thing becomes a habit, it’s going to be having a quiet time. Priorities first–if I don’t learn to get in the habit of spending time with God, then I might as well not even try the rest. Here’s the thing I was just telling my husband, my perspective has been wrong for so long. I’ve focused so much on achievement for the sake of myself, that I’ve forgotten God’s role in my life.
God uses the people in the weakness so that He can gain the glory. (I can hear my eighth-grade self saying “DUH!”). And right now, I”m in a weak time achievement-wise. What else can one do with a graduate degree, but serve as an administrative assistant? Don’t answer that, because, well, its just too painful. So here I am, re-examining my life, my priorities, my perspective, and how it got all messed up.